taken from
film, actors, writers

an Englishman Abroad
Coral: Listen dear, I’m only an actress, I’m not a bright lady by your standards. I’ve never been much interested in politics but if this is communism I don’t like it because it’s dull. The poor things look so tired. Then some people think Australia’s dull and that’s not communismn and look at Leeds.
Only it occurs to me that we sat here all afternoon pretending that spying, which is what you did my darling, was just a minor social misdemeanour, no worse or I’m sure in some people’s minds, much better than being caught in a public lavatory the way gentlemen in my profession constantly are.
That it’s just something we shouldn mention, out of politeness. So that we won’t be embarassed. (chortles) That’s very English. And pretend it hasn’t happened because we’re both sensible people.
Well, I’m not English, I’m not sensible. I’m an Australian. I can’t muster much morality and outside Shakespeare, the word treason to me means nothing – only you pissed in our soup, and we drank it.
Well, very well, it doesn’t affect me darling, I will order your suit and your hat and I’ll keep it under mine, Mum, not a word. But for one reason, I’m sorry for you
Well in your book, in your real book . that probably adds my name to the list of all the other fools you’ve conned. But you’re not conning me, darling, I know. Pipe isn’t fooling pussy.
And there you have the nub of the matter: traitors and tailors.

An Englishman Abroad was directed by John Schlesinger in 1983 with Alan Bates as Guy Burgess and Coral Browne as herself, the story happened to her 25 years before. One of the best things Alan Bennett ever wrote, two outstanding actors; funny, moving, astute, it took in patriotism, love, exile, communism, traitors and tailors.
In 1951 Guy Burgess the “Cambridge spy”, disappeared, defected, with the diplomat Donald MacLean. The security forces of almost every Western nation tried to find them. But it was not till 1955 that the “missing diplomats,” were reported to be in the Soviet Union.
Seven years later in 1958, Coral Browne, superb actress and mordant wit, was touring Russia with the Shakespeare Memorial Theatre. In Moscow Burgess lurches into her dressing room during a performance of Hamlet and throws up in her basin.

Coral – I wouldn’t care, but it’s only the interval. If you want to come round and be sick you might at least save it for the end of the performance.
He leaves after having stolen her soap, drink and cigarettes. At her hotel a note is pushed under the door asking her to visit him and bring – a tape measure.
She finally finds his flat, after the British Embassy does its best to stop her. As she climbs the stairs, you hear him reciting the Lady of Shalott, as he shaves:
From the bank and from the river
He flashed into the crystal mirror,
“Tirra lirra,” by the river
Sang Sir Lancelot.
She left the web, she left the loom,
She made three paces through the room,
She saw the water-lily bloom,
She saw the helmet and the plume,
She look’d down to Camelot.
Out flew the web and floated wide;
The mirror crack’d from side to side;
“The curse is come upon me,” cried
The Lady of Shalott.
It’s magical, Bates’s beautiful voice, the strange, entrancing poem, in this ghastly place. His flat is a shambles, as he cheerfully says:
“Hardly luxury’s lap. Quite a pigsty in fact. I used to live in Jermyn Street. Tragic you might think, but not really. That was a pigsty too.”
The lunch is burnt to ruin in a filthy pot, but “all is not lost, I managed to scrounge two tomatoes, quite a talking point,” and he takes a bite of raw garlic. Irrepressibly merry, he could be sitting down at the Caprice, he is quite unaffected by his dismal state and that of the country he is stuck in.
A pip gets into his teeth, prodding away inside his mouth, he muses:
“You know people ask me if I have any regrets. The one regret I have, before I went away, I didn’t get myself fitted out with a good pair of National Health gnashers. Admirable as most things are in the Soviet Socialist Republic, the making of dentures is still in its infancy.
He has an unusual request, he wants some suits made by his tailor in London, along with hat, old Etonian tie, the works. He can’t get them in Russia “Clothes have never been the comrades strong point.” Marxist and traitor he may be, but he is an Englishman, “I don’t want to look like everyone else do I ?” She gets the measuring tape and runs it over him, writing down the inches; adding hat, tie, shoes, ‘ a trousseau…for a shotgun marriage’

If Burgess had hoped to be a hero, he wasn’t. To the Soviets he didn’t matter any more, even if he is followed everywhere by the police. He uses all his charm to keep up a good front but it’s a pathetic existence in a miserable place (filmed in Dundee) His Russian lover is probably a policeman.
Burgess: “I know what I’ve done to deserve him, but what has he done to deserve me ? Am I a reward or a punishment ?”
He is still in love with the country he betrayed and with all things English. Without his friends, the writers, the famous, where ‘everyone seemed to know everyone else’, all his wit is for nothing – “They’re not strong on irony, the comrades.” No more Reform club, streets of London, latest books and plays, conversations. All he now has is anonymity, stultifying boredom and loneliness surrounded by cold concrete ugliness.
Yet he is still wondrously funny; to some old crow stuck behind an office window, he remarks with great charm:
“I’m sure I’m not the first to remark on your resemblance to the late Ernest Bevin. It is MOST striking. You could be sisters.”
He yearns for gossip, news of those he knew – Cyril Connolly, Harold Nicloson, Pope Hennessy, Auden, Forster – Coral doesn’t know any of them.

Finally, when he gets the telephone call which allows him to go out, he takes her to a church.
In a haunting scene, standing upright and still, he weeps silently as he listens to the exquisite music of a Russian church service, a priest chants the blessing while babushkas light candles whose smoke drifts up past the icons. As the tears fall down and the music soars, at last the joker’s mask falls away and the true one is revealed, the desperately homesick exile. Only here, in this dark sanctuary of a country where even God has been banned does the traitor find redemption.
Back at the flat, after all his charm, wit and persiflage; before leaving, Coral finally tells him the truth - shown in full above
Coral – Outside Shakespeare, the word treason to me means nothing – only you pissed in our soup, and we drank it.
That probably adds my name to the list of all the other fools you’ve conned. But you’re not conning me, darling. Pipe isn’t fooling pussy.
She keeps her word and goes to the outfitters in St James, Saville Row, Jermyn street for his suit, shoes, hat and tie. The scenes are pitch-perfect, they accept the orders for their disgraced former client without question; British courtesy at its most sublime. For his tailor who reminisces with affection, the defector might have been fitted only the day before. As for discretion:
“Mum’s always the word here, madam. Moscow or Maidenhead, mum is always the word.”
There is only one who doesn’t, he is Hungarian and unleashes a tempest of invective from Coral that would fell an oak forest.
In writing the play Bennett had Burgess’s letters to Browne, her cuttings and original notes of his measurements, even his cheque for £6 – she never cashed it.

So at the end of the film, Burgess strides out impeccable, in the Moscow snow, over the bridge, to the thunder of Gilbert and Sullivan. For all the world, he might be going to the office in Curzon Street or Whitehall.
Burgess: “So little, England, little music, little art. Timid, tasteful, nice. But one loves it, one loves it.”
He died far from little England. On September 1, 1963, an official of a Moscow hospital announced that Jim Andreyevich Elliott – the name he was given there – had died from heart disease. The “Internationale” was played at his funeral, apart from MacLean, no one of note attended.
And why did he do it, betray his country ?
“No point in having a secret if you make a secret of it.”